Public Degradation
by Feral Phoenix
Summary: [Riviera Gakuen] Full names are designed for three things: for use by your elders when they're angry at you, humiliation, and blackmail material. And, oh, will this ever make good blackmail material. [oneshot, cracky humor]


Public Degradation

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Riviera. I own a GBA cartridge, a UMD (that as of yet I can't play), and considerable fandom, but Riviera itself belongs to Sting. And this idea is mine, so don't take.

It was the middle of just another average day at the Riviera high school.

"Stuff it, why don'tcha? _Ga-a-a-a-a-awwd, _you're so uptight! Loosen up a little!"

Meaning that it was lunchtime.

"This _loosening up _would mean that myself and the rest of the student body would become more like _you, _which is entirely inadmissible! Do you _realize _how many days you've cut the first few class periods now?! You'll be lucky if the school board permits you to so much as _attend _the graduation ceremony, let alone _actually _move on to the next grade, you disgrace!"

Meaning that the teacher had gone off to the lounge to eat her lunch, and the students had the classroom to themselves, unsupervised for this small allotted slice of the day.

"Who ever said I _wanted _to graduate? I don't even _need _a high school diploma to get a job!"

"Your lack of application is _disgusting! _You'll never get _anywhere _in life without a proper education! As a member of the student council and the class representative, I _cannot _allow you to—"

"Shut _up! _I'm sick of your whining, you intrusive, annoying bitch! Shove off!"

"I'm shocked you even know what the word _intrusive _means."

"Why, you little—"

Meaning that Malice and Serene were at it again.

Ein gave his soba noodles a halfhearted poke, then sighed. "If you two won't knock it off, could you at _least _pipe down? Some of us are trying to eat…"

Sitting in the desk next to his, Seth shook her head tragically, then proceeded to put her feet up on the chair behind hers. "It's a waste. Just sit back and enjoy the show."

Ein groaned. It was the same thing _every _day. Whereas all the other students would get in by the bell, take their seats, and listen attentively as their young teacher Cierra gave them the day's lesson, Serene would sleep late, mosey her way down to the school building, jump the gate, and sidle into class three or four hours past the first bell. And Malice, the most militant member of the student council and class rep to boot, would just sit there getting redder and redder and madder and madder, until the teachers finally left for lunch break. And _then _she'd grab her feared T-square, accost Serene, and threaten her with ruler abuse as the two of them argued back and forth.

_Usually, _it didn't get quite this bad. _Usually, _Ein's best friend Ledah, the president of the student council, would intervene at around this point and calmly order the combatants to leave each other alone, for the sake of their classmates' sanity and peaceful lunchtime. However, that wouldn't be happening at all this week.

It was just one of those things that happened like that. It couldn't be blamed on anyone, even if it was a nuisance. But the fact was that Ein, Seth, and Ledah lived with a housemate who had extremely fragile health. Their guardian, Celina, was the school's guidance counselor, and she had to work for her allotted half the school day no matter what. Hence, Ledah stayed home to do the nursing until Celina could make it there, and he didn't come to school until then. Meaning that he always missed lunch. And it _had _to be Ledah—Ein and Seth were competent students, but they wouldn't be able to keep up their grades if they missed half the day; Ledah could.

And, of course, just when Serene had hit the peak of laziness, Nessiah's scarlet fever had relapsed. _Again. _Much worse than ever. If he wasn't showing improvement by the end of the week, they'd take him to the hospital, and if he did, then Celina would be able to handle only supervising him half the day. Still, it meant that Ledah wouldn't be here to negotiate Malice and Serene's personality conflict until next week.

"Come on…" Ein tried again, desperately hoping that they'd _listen. _Malice and Serene were both his friends, after all; maybe they'd—

"Butt out, Ein!" both of them snapped, then went back to sniping at each other.

Ein headslumped. It was useless. They'd never see sense.

There was a sudden rap on the side of the door that made everyone but the embittered combatants turn: It was Claude, the biology teacher, with a bundle of papers under one arm and an unusually irritated look on his face.

He cleared his throat loudly, obviously trying to get the girls' attention.

They didn't seem to hear him.

"Miss Ructor."

Malice and Serene continued to argue, oblivious to the fact that one of them was being called by a teacher.

_"Miss __**Ructor."**_

Ein, watching, wondered if he'd ever seen Claude look this angry. He doubted it; Claude was usually a very easygoing person.

"MARY ALICE RUCTOR! YOUR ATTENTION, PLEASE!"

Malice froze, her shoulders going tense, and slowly turned in very stiff movements towards the door, an interesting mix of horror, disgust, and disbelief crystalline on her face.

"You and I need to talk about the results of this exam," Claude said sternly, and flapped his papers to beckon Malice towards him. She dropped her many rulers, and walked towards him very slowly in stilted steps, still wearing that nearly-comical expression.

_"'Mary Alice'?" _Serene asked, her eyebrows approaching her hairline.

Seth bit back a giggle as she fished a stick of pocky out of its box. "Well, yeah. You didn't honestly think that 'Malice' was her _given name, _did you? Ein and me knew her when we were all little. With kids that small, 'Mary Alice' is kind of a mouthful, and everyone kept mispronouncing her name as 'Malice'. It stuck."

"But _still. 'Mary __**Alice'**__??" _Serene repeated with obvious glee.

Ein felt his stomach starting to sink, and face faulted into his desk.

_Please, please, please, Nessiah. Get better __**soon.**__ Serene is NEVER going to forget this, and if she plays with it too much longer, Malice is gonna kill her…_

Maybe it _had _been the only way to get Malice's attention, but still. Ein wished Claude had shown a little more discretion.

Crap. Unless Ledah got back fast, they were all doomed.

**Owari. XD**


End file.
